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Not for some fair time to come at least.’ While I set up my short easel and laid out my pigments, I glanced at her occasionally. Her beauty was stunning. Hair the color of sunburnt wheat, eyes that peered at me with a lambert fire gleaming in them. And her body… I looked away and went back to my preparations. ‘Does something about me disturb you? You keep looking away. Most men stare,’ her words were bitter. Glancing up, I noticed the pain in her eyes first but ignored it. ‘I would think that would make you happy.’ The sneer was not far from my lips. ‘Why? Why should that make me happy? To be gawked at? Stared at? To know that all of those men want to do only one thing to me, and to do it whether I want it done or not? Why would I want that?’ She smiled a sad smile. ‘How many pious men will be coming to see me tomorrow simply because I’ll be stripped to make my humiliation worse?’ Her question hit me in a place I didn’t care for, it awoke in me my compassion. I wanted to feel sorry. "Well, maybe not exactly like that," I admitted, "but it's not too much of a stretch to think that Bill can drum up enough interest to get two or three clubs competing to sign me. I've asked Bill to act as my agent -- officially -- once this thing gets to the point where I'm looking around for future employment." It's an attractive prospect," Josie conceded. "I only hope you and Bill can make it all happen. I have faith in your ability, Freddie, but, God, I've seen up close and personal how tough this business can be. So have you. It's hard to believe it's going to all work out as well as you hope it will." It was only a few months ago it seemed like the whole thing was over for me," I told her. "I know I'm not Alex Rodriguez and never will be ... Hell, if I was, I'd still be an infielder, wouldn't I? But, Baby, whatever it takes to make this happen, I'm going to do it. And if that includes becoming a fucking Orange Grower for Christmas and New Years, that's what I'm gonna have to.
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